The Tone of Voice

This poem was provided during a marriage seminar I attended.  It is a great reminder that it is not just the words we use with our spouses, our children, our friends, but also how we use those words.  It is so easy to slip into a voice that is too stern for what we are trying to convey to a child.  A well-intended comment to a child can sometimes come across as anything other than that...just by the tone of voice.  I battle this one often.  You want to simply tell a child "no", but it comes out worse.  You call them to supper and the child doesn't want to come because your voice has that "tone".  One of my children today was asked if he understood what I had just said.  He said yes so quietly I did not hear him.  When I asked again, he answered in such a way as to sound like he was telling me, "You fool, can't you hear me as I stand next to you?"  His tone to me was disrepectful, though I know he did not mean it that way.  Ironically, we were having a conversation about the tone of voice.  Please enjoy this poem....and be aware of your tone of voice.

THE TONE OF VOICE

Author Unknown

It's not so much what you say

As the manner in which you say it;

It's not so much the language you use

As the tone in which you convey it:

"Come Here," I sharply said,

And the child cowered and wept.

"Come Here," I said - -

He looked and smiled

And straight to my lap he crept.

Words may be mild and fair

And the tone may pierce like a dart;

Words may be soft as the summer air

But the tone may break my heart;

For words come from the mind

Grow by study and art - -

But tone leaps from the inner self

Revealing the state of the heart.

Whether you know it or not,

Whether you mean or care,

Gentleness, kindness, love, and hate,

Envy, anger, are there.

Then, would you quarrels avoid

And peace and love rejoice?

Keep anger not only out of your words --

Keep it out of your voice.