Normally, in a discussion on gay marriage, the pro side says "Good for the gays"! and the con side says, "Bad for society/family"! The discussion then turns into a slinging of names, accusations of homophobia, being judgemental, and hate, etc. For the record, in EVERY one of my discussions, my dissenting opinion was attacked and I was called names. I was chastised for not being tolerant, yet my view was not tolerated.
This issue has two distinct ways to look at it, in my opinion. First, there is the secular side, secondly...there is the religious side. Let's look at each one.
Gay marriage...secular sided: When you look at gay marriage from a secular point of view, it is very hard to argue that it should not be allowed. In fact, I am not sure I could come up with one. Do two people of the same sex have the right to enter into a legal contract that will allow them to share medical benefits, property, and other legal stuff just like heterosexual couples can? You bet! I have no problem with two men or two women calling themselves a couple and having the other on their insurance or whatever. I am not sure I see a lack of equality anywhere, since civil unions have been around in many states for quite a while, but yes; I do think that if a gay couple wants to enter into a civil union, they should be allowed to. From a secular, contractual point of view, it is OK. After all, all marriages start out downtown with a marriage license as a legal contract and are, in essence, nothing more than an agreement for the exchange of goods and services between the two parties who signed that contract.
Gay Marriage...religion sided: Here is where the big problem begins. Most religions do not look at gay marriage as being proper. I am going to speak from the Christian view since I am a Catholic. Marriage, from a religious standpoint, is not simply looked at as a contract, but a sacred covenant between a man and a woman and God. Before you get all excited, I understand that two men or two women can love each other just as strongly as a man and a woman can. That is not what is at question. There are Biblical references to man and woman: The first to be quoted is always Genesis 1:27-28 to paraphrase, "He made them male and female and told them to be fruitful and multiply. There are also references to the sinfulness of homosexuality...not "being" homosexual, but acting on it. Leviticus 18:22 states, "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; such a thing is an abomination. Both of these quotes are from the Old Testament, so cannot be written off as strictly Christian rules. There are many more references throughout the bible which condemn homosexual behavior, but not the homosexual.
From a religious view, marriage exists for procreation, thus the reason the Catholic Church does not support birth control and especially abortion. If you cannot (health issues aside) create children with a sexual act, the marriage is useless. I will not go into sterile parents and other side issues here.
The point is that you cannot have two men have sex and produce a child. God's intent for marriage cannot be met. Imagine if Adam and Eve had been Adam and Steve. In a few years the human race would have been gone. Sex is not meant to be a recreational sport but to be a unifying act between a husband and wife...an act of intimacy...that opportunity for the "two to become one". Thus, many Christians are OK with there being civil unions for homosexual couples, allowing them to have the same secular rights as heterosexual couples. However, it is when homosexual couples want that union to be called a marriage, or to be performed by a minister, that many Christians cry foul.
There is also the debate about the family structure and the need for both parents. I do not believe that a child will do just as well with two dads or two moms as he/she would with one of each. A girl needs a mother to learn girl stuff and a boy needs a father to learn boy stuff. We have gender specific roles and ways we do things for a reason...because God wanted it that way.
You will notice that the number of words needed to support gay marriage in the secular sense was far less than the number used to show why, religiously, gay marriage should not be allowed. As I said in the beginning, their really isn't an argument to be made against gay marriage if you look at it strictly from a secular view. Yet there is a strong argument, with much Biblical and historical/societal reference to back the argument against.
I do not believe this is a topic that can ever be discussed without agreeing first about which side of the debate you are going to discuss...secular or religious. And in order to have the debate from a religious standpoint, the person on the side of gay marriage should really be religious and believe in their faith. Otherwise, it is a useless talk.
