Where Has Our Compassion Gone?

Yesterday's news about Michelle Duggar having a miscarriage in her 2nd trimester was very sad to hear.  As bad as that news was, it was quickly followed by hateful, mean-spirited, and extremely rude comments against her, her husband, and their family.

The fact that they have 19 children and this would have been 20 cannot be ignored.  Other facts that cannot be ignored is that the practice of their religion has them put the number of children they have in God's hands, they are not on welfare or other assistance, and they are able to financially support the whole family.  If you have ever seen the show, ALL children receive plenty of attention from mom and dad.

What this story did, however, was show how cruel we can be.  The comments were horrible.  Here are a few:

These people are truly stupid! This woman is going to kill herself trying to have a thousand kids

Great news she miscarried.

 

She is only upset because of the extra money she is losing out on by not having another child

 

There were, however, a few compassionate people out there with similar comments to this one:

 

It doesn't matter how many children they have decided to have, at this moment they lost a baby that they loved. They suffered a lost, everything else is irrelevant right now..

 

or this one:

 

I'm willing to bet not one of her 19 children would spew the venom that Ive read on this thread if any of you had lost a baby.Makes you wonder whose parents should have taken birth control...

 

The vast majority of comments were cruel and uncalled for.  Those who showed compassion were quickly attacked.  It seems to be the way, now days.  Especially in the world of Facebook-style relationships.  We use this wonderful tool to keep in touch with old friends and maybe even make new ones.  Yet, when a discussion thread grows legs and opposing views are stated, people lose all sense of decorum and say things that I absolutely know they would not say to the person to their face.  We like to hide behind the safety of animosity and our computer screen.  I see things said that would never be said in decent society...if that even exists anymore.

 

This is not something that happens only with the Duggars.  I see it all the time in the comments below news articles.  Whether it be about a child abuse scandal, someone arrested, or a sports icon trying to make a comeback.  We, as a society and an educated people, have forgotten how to wish someone well.  We no longer believe in innocent until proven guilty.  Instead, we try, judge, and convict as soon as the allegation is made. 

 

What happened to us?  Where did our compassion go?  What happened to being sad when someone loses their baby...whether is is #1 or #20?  What happened to hoping someone learned their lesson and can become a better person?  Maybe that is why so many young people are so messed up.  They have never seen compassion, so how can they have any?  We look at the person holding the sign that says, "My family is starving, please help.  God Bless You!" with disdain and contempt and say under our breath..."Go get a job".  Not realizing they may have had a very good job that they were laid off from and can't get one now because they are "over qualified".  Or the two jobs they are working still can't pay the rent.

 

I urge you, not just during this Christmas season, but always, to look at those who have been struck by misfortune or adversity with a little more compassion.  Soften your comments as you post or speak to someone.  There is a way to bring peace around us...and it starts with one person...you!

 

God Bless you all and have a very Merry Christmas!!

Another Second Chance Denied

Some time ago, I asked the question, "When DO you deserve a second chance?"  At the time, I was reflecting on all of the hateful comments being made about Michael Vick and his comeback in the NFL.  If you remember, some things being said about him were so bad as to wish him great bodily harm or even death.

This time, it seems that Tiger Woods is the recipient of all the ill-will.  You see, it seems he won a tournament this past weekend, the first for him in about two years.  If you haven't heard, he cheated on his wife, who then divorced him, and his career took a severe slide as he tried to get his act together.

Now, it would appear, instead of people wishing him well now that he may have put his demons behind him, they are calling him names and saying he doesn't deserve a second chance.  That may be true with his former wife, but this is a sport folks.  No one is saying that what he did to his ex-wife was acceptable, but let's allow the man to pick up the mess he made and get back to business.

It reminds me of the zero-defect policies the Army had for many years.  One mistake and you could lose your career.  No more DUIs or fights or anything that would have, for Soldiers in years past, simply been part of maturing and growing up.  An officer getting a DUI had just ended his career.  A Soldier getting into a fight at the club could expect to be sent packing.  I have known a few, very good Sergeants Major in the Army who had been demoted almost as many times as they had been promoted.  By being allowed to make mistakes and learn from them, they had become great leaders.

The same goes for those who are in the spotlight.  No one liked what Michael Vick did.  So now, let's use his lessons and let him move on, using his path as an example to those behind him who look up to him as a quarterback.  Let him teach them that dogfighting and criminal activity is not the path to follow.  Let him also show him that you can pay the price, make amends, and become a better person.  Tiger Woods doesn't need to apologize to me...I wasn't married to him.  Let him try to heal the wounds with his ex-wife and then be an example to those who look up to him.  Let him show kids that you can work through adversity and still become something.  We need to stop showing our youngsters that no matter what you do, once you make a mistake, you will forever be labeled.

Forgiveness is a trait that is far too often left behind.  Compassion needs to be given freely.  It is time to look at someone who made a mistake and is trying to make things better and wish them the best.