What is The Meaning of Love?

The other day, my wife, Selena, picked up the latest copy of Real Simple magazine while we were at the grocery store.  At home, as she paged through it, she found an essay contest and suggested that I enter it.  After all, how hard could it be and the prize was $3,000!  After looking at the dates of the contest (May 3, 2011-September 15, 2011) we decided that wouldn't work.  We bought the magazine on September 15, a few minutes before the deadline ended.  Selena  said she had never even seen the contest in earlier magazines, but here the September issue had the contest, which ended that month.  Anyway...I digress...horribly.

The essay contest was "When did you first understand the meaning of love"?  We talked about it for awhile.  Most people may say it was their first love in school, maybe a religious experience, or something with their spouse.  My thoughts first went to my wife.  Did she help me to first understand the meaning of love?  Perhaps how she treats me on a daily basis, how she fixes me a lunch for work, or even how she treats our children.  Mothers often display so many wonderful forms of love, that it should be easy to understand love through them.  But alas, my thoughts went to another fine woman.

I had been driving home with a friend from Washington, D.C. after a business trip and we stopped at a Cracker Barrel for lunch.  We had finished eating and I decided to stop in the restroom before we continued our drive home.  As I entered, I was met with the sounds of people talking and the most horrible bathroom smell you can imagine.  Without being overly descriptive, I mean the outhouse type of a smell.  In one of the stalls, two pair of feet were visible...one male, one female.  These feet were those of an elderly couple.  It was obvious, by the words I heard from the lady, that the man had had a terrible accident.  She was cleaning him up and, it appeared to me, trying to console him a little bit.  After all, I am sure the man was embarrassed and felt a bit of humiliation.

This woman was taking care of her husband in the truest fashion of "in sickness and in health, for better or for worse".  She understood what love meant!!!  She knows what love is...that it is an ACTION VERB, not a noun.  You have to DO love, not be in love, or feel love.  As badly as I felt for that elderly man, I was so happy for him and proud of that woman.  He had a wonderful partner in his life who obviously loved him greatly.

That day, I was able to put aside my having to deal with the "environment" of that bathroom and just be amazed at that display of love.  I think I understand love now...and what unconditional love really is.

Back to School-Continuing Abdication!

Between my three boys, I have signed close to 20 separate pieces of paper during this first week of school.  These range from emergency notification cards (two are in the same school as last year) to letters explaining plagiarism and the punishment for it.

Now.  Some of these have their purpose, quite obviously.  Though two boys are still at the same school, it is important that the school has the most updated information.  We may have gotten a new phone number or maybe I need a new person to be able to pick them up from school.  I have no issue with being involved in my oldest son's desire to drop one class for another and it requiring my signature.  Where I have issue, is when I have to sign so that the school can place responsibility on me...and take none themselves.

What do I mean by that?  Well, as has happened before, if I have signed a paper attesting that I have read the student handbook for the school and what disciplines can/will be used for my child, then I cannot disagree/argue with the school about what they are planning to do to my child.  In this case, the school has used my signature and knowledge of the handbook to abdicate any responsibility they have to administer punishment by using any sort of a system of justice other than zero tolerance or the "same for everyone" approach.  They will not look at two students and judge them based on the individual.  They will punish the first time offender the same as the thug kid.

Our children are also taught that they are irresponsible and untrustworthy until the school no longer has jurisdiction over them (usually age 18 or graduation).  When I was in school, we signed out for our dentist appointment and then walked out to Mom's car.  Now...I have to first sign in as a visitor to walk ten feet down the hallway to the Dean's office, sign out my child, and then bring back proof that I actually took him to the dentist.  I cannot send a note to school, have him meet me at the door with my truck running, and go to the appointment.  And yet, we wonder why our children don't know what to do on their own, why they need so much guidance to do the simplest tasks that we did as kids because we had learned to be independent.

It just seems obvious that with every piece of paper I sign for my boys, the more the school is letting me know that if something happens, they will simply say, "It was in the handbook" or "Didn't you sign the letter we sent home on unexcused absences"?  Why yes I did, isn't being sick with Mono an excused absence?

Before I get of my soapbox, has anyone else had a problem with giving their children medications at school?  I remember going to my grade school secretary for an aspirin.  Now, I can't even send Tylenol to school with my son to give to the nurse without a document from his doctor stating that he can take it.  And don't you dare give your child chap stick!!!!  Oh my!!!  That could be dangerous to other kids!!  Yeah...only if he jammed it in the kid's eye!!

This year, for the first time in over 20 years of having kids in school...I am joining the PTA.  Someone has to stand up and say ENOUGH!!!  We need to get rid of stupid rules and a lack of common sense in schools and make the teachers and administrators take some of the responsibility back for teaching our kids that they have been so eager to abdicate.